March 2012
The blues have got a hold on me and they wont let go. I would really like more than anything to crawl into bed next to a sweet boy and for everything to be okay. Unfortunately that only seems to perpetuate my loneliness of recent. My inability to actually open up and admit what’s wrong, even to those closest to me, is getting in the way of being able to function normally in everyday life.
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I can feel myself slipping back into an anxiety related slump. I woke up with a finger tracing along my upper back and a question; what are you all about? I thought about this whilst I awoke and I realised that I’m not about anything. There is no purpose to my existence. I feel like I’m holding back but I don’t know what from. There are just a lot of things on my mind I’m...
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It’s 1.39am and I cannot seem to fall asleep I’m typing incredibly slowly as to not wake up a sleepy drunken boy Whom has spread himself out across my double bed Limbs everywhere The wind outside is making the trees rustle And there are tiny insects chirping
Anonymous asked: Do you feel like you connect with some people on a spiritual level? Who in the world do you think understands you the most? Is there anyone who you trust above all others? Do you have manic moments where you crave a creative outlet? Are you sorry for party rockin?
Succulents are used in moon spells related to love and abundance, gardenia attracts lovers and poppies are used in moon spells relating to fertility, prosperity and prophetic dreams. Strange late night reading from a book I picked up in the library.
Slowly Drifting In and Out of Sleep listening to Dirty Three and wrapped up in my Blanket
A midnight snack of ham on rye, do you love me yet Bukowski?
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It’s strange that my blog acts as a pensive of sort for all my mediocre self realisations and pointless documentations. I speak about internal struggles, family dysfunctions, mental issues, past relationships, drug experiences and even really pointless shit like what I ate for lunch but I never really talk about an important part of my life at the moment which is a boy whom...
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I feel a lot better now. My father and I went for sushi and this lady accidentally mistook me for her daughter in her peripherals and we had a giggle about it but then it turned out her daughter was this girl in my year who is also called Jade and that kind of freaked me out. So then I ate my sushi and we said goodbye to my new found family and went food shopping. Dad bought me chocolate milk and...
Things in my room I hold dear to me: Laptop, clothes, Alex’s paintings, notebooks, records, candles, bed, keyboard. I think I could throw everything else out and live with just those things. Although that being said I collect an awful lot of memories which inhabit themselves in useless little objects which I grow attached to. Examples of this - • A piece of quartz which I picked up when...
Someone once called me the “Sisyphus of Introspection”. I’d met him almost four times and I think he might know me better than anyone, including myself.
Another brilliant day turned bad by the perils of the complex human thought process.
Back from early morning heat yoga, laying in my underwear eating strawberry yoghurt with oats and frozen berries with a hot cup of yerba mate. Feeling much better today, outside is beautiful.
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To do list for the next 16 hours [[MORE]] • Finish Morgan essay • E-mail draft to Prest • Sleep • Go to 9.30 yoga class • Get ingredients for a tasty juice and make it at home • Work on indigenous youth essay • Clean kitchen / bathroom • Go to school
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I get goosebumps every time I listen to Beach House.
constant-surprises replied to your post: Things that have not been fun today • Almost…
Presty wont be in English tomorrow so maybe try and email it to her
Yeah I was planning on doing it this morning and e-mailing it to her but I just haven’t been able to concentrate on anything, I’ve just been in and out of sleep all day.
Things that have not been fun today • Almost choking to death on my own mucus • Not being able to breath through my nose • Having to use my inhaler every minute • Weird body temperature changes • Headaches • Waking up with a really dry throat • Not being able to concentrate • Having to do schoolwork all day because regardless of how crap I feel, I will fail my assignments if I don’t hand up...
