December 2011
Reasons why today sucks already • I’m trying to listen to Boards of Canada but all I can hear is Snoop Dogg echoing throughout what I assume to be about a eight kilometre radius affecting the majority of suburbs surrounding my hometown • I spent all night looking after and documenting the progress of two friends on copious amounts of cough medicine • I got woken up by my father at 11am,...
“Tom Cruise in Risky Business made me vomit”
– Sam Hopkinson
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Ever since I lost the thing I loved most, the first time round, my conscious and unconscious have merged as have my reality and my dream state. I just found myself looking about for Bukowski’s Ham on Rye thinking that the person whom I had lent it to had returned it. I remember the moment distinctly, he came over and had thrown it from beside the table in my bedroom, it landed with a slight...
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i like to write on skin, human skin is the most beautiful, rare and expensive canvas i can think of, i hope the ink leaks into my bloodstream, then i will become the words, the words will float about my veins, float about inside of myself.
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Sitting in the place that destroyed everyone i’ve touched and i am slowly dripping sulphate down the porcelain paneling which is infected with little red rises, the red setting full sun and the red rising full moon both remind me of better times. Hopelessly holding red pens and written empty letters with no thoughts or sentiments placed onto their blank canvases. Lenses and paints and pens...
505 - Arctic Monkeys Stop and wait a sec Oh when...
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I’m still here, just. I think I might be slipping under the current. For the second time this month I am distraught. I put some holes in my wall, I’ve never done that before. I rode to a friend’s house, I couldn’t bring myself to put on shoes. I didn’t want memories of being this utterly and desperately sad etched into their soles. Why is it that I surrender myself to...
Yesterday was strange, after waking up at six in the morning I found myself at the house of no one in particular, being house sat by a sixteen year old friend. I spent the entire afternoon, too drunk to actually swim, but sat inside an inflatable pink ring with a cup of white wine and ice tea in my hand, and a ukelele in the other, singing about stupid things. Then I rode home with my best friend...
Il m’aime ou pas?
Laying in my warm bedroom in a drunken haze, splayed nakedly across my bed. I don’t mind my friends too much.
I am home, and I am nauseous and I am tired. This Christmas was the strangest one since the Christmas I spent in the hospital waiting room alone. Christmas eve I woke up in a weird alcoholic haze next to a friend of mine; three empty bottles of wine and a $363 police fine on the table. An hour or so later I was packed and sitting in the car, feet up on the dashboard, the airconditioner giving my...
Consumed a lot of wine, got a $363 fine for riding my bicycle without a helmet or lights. Merry Christmas to you too you fuckers. It’s alright though because I have a new bike and more wine and I’m off to the beach for a couple days.
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I am back to my own usual self, for a little while I feared I might not return.
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Now more than ever I am growing slowly more and more detached from my personal being, I am an observer of my surroundings, merely watching my movements from a distance. My consciousness is floating about, no longer anchored to a singular space. I looked at a lot of things today. I spent time with a friend and listened to him talk about quantum physics and his dead grandfather, we also made a...
Notes to self • Stop being taken advantage of • Take control of your own actions • Empathy is not always the answer • Love does not conquer all • Keep trying to remember who you are • I am what I make of myself, not who others make me to be • Be honest all the time • Time away is time well spent
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Anonymous asked: What scores did you get for which subjects?
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Perhaps I no longer need to be around constant company due to the pleasure and satisfaction I receive from watching my insanity slowly manifest itself deeper and deeper within me. Off to the markets!
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I feel as if the days and nights are melting into each other and I am an omniscient being watching the movement of my body and the motions of my words, no longer in control but witness to their unpredictability. Perhaps I’ve entered a mysterious auto pilot mode in my being which enables me to exist without the emotional consequences of my actions. I can feel love, but I only feel love for...
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I had a strange moment today, I was talking to a friend of mine when I realised I don’t even recognise myself anymore. Whenever I am hurt significantly by someone whom I adore, I tend to adapt, evolve into a person who is able to handle things better. I try to change so that I stop hurting. I give so much of myself to that person that when they sever the ties we had, it severs the part...
