Sometime last year I was flying home from Melbourne by myself and I looked out the window and there was a big bright moon outside illuminating all the clouds surrounding it. I listened to this and fell into my thoughts and the beautiful vision.
why do i always feel like i’m drowning these past two days have been really difficult i just need someone here to tuck my hair behind my ears and tell that everything is going to be okay how come everyone is talking to me pouring out their sadness everyone is so unbelievably sad i miss my mother and i miss being young and crying over spilled milk i don’t feel like there is one person in the world right now who i can just be me around who i can be young in front of and cry in their lap since when has everything gotten so heavy how come things like this happen where has everyone gone
I thought you may have, just because of the story about the girl you mentioned in a previous ask (really sorry about that, by the way, it was so horrible). I live here too, and I love it when people with amazing blogs live in the same area.
Oh thanks. It’s completely unbelievable though, I mean when does things like that happen to our little city. Especially to people I know. Anyway I hope you have a good night, x
I think I have been, it’s just I’ve felt love for numerous people in such varying circumstances I’m starting to lose faith in the notion of ‘love’. If I can feel an allegedly rare and special emotion more than once by the time I’m seventeen, I’m either really lucky or it doesn’t exist. Perhaps I’ve never been in love but had mere infatuations with people whom I adore. The whole concept is so vague and abstract.
Sorry babe. I completely understand how that feels, because that's what it's like for me too. Feel free to talk to me though. :)
Oh thank you, you’re so kind. Im all okay now, I just had a bit of an anxiety attack because I feel in a constant battle of doing what’s right for me and what’s right for other people. I hadn’t seen one of my best friends in a little while and he seemed really uneasy and there was nothing I could do and I felt like I was drowning because I’m so hopeless. But I’m okay now, I just need to stop being so melodramatic :)
“You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.”—Azar Nafisi
Been feeling great since saturday morning, I think rearranging my bedroom was a good idea, I feel like it rearranged my mind. Perhaps it’s because my bedroom is clean for the first time in a while and it seems more spacious, more area to think…
You know past-nostalgia. So when you think of the past it will be simple and nicer because that's the way we fucking work.
It’s funny reflecting because I knew I was in a fickle predicament but all I remember is the drowning sounds and intense vocals of Victoria Legrand and patterned ceilings and heartbeats and falling in and out of consciousness whilst keeping warm from the radiating heat of the air, blanket and body temperatures combined surrounding my existence keeping me safe, almost like swimming in a strange way that only warped nostalgia can do… I went off on a tangent there but listening to Beach House reminds me of that radiating warmth and the sounds still sound the same as they did when echoing off the walls of that room.
Listening to Beach House always reminds me of last summer holidays laying in a certain bed staring at a certain ceiling trying to defer certain thoughts and feeling my heartbeat with it’s irregular beats trying to regulate itself. Strange to think how things have changed, does the past always seem so simple?
After I made my last post I went down to the store and bought the tastiest mango. I ate half of it and the other half I blended with some hand squeezed orange juice. It was so good and filled me with motivation, so I went for a ride up to my local swimming pool and did laps for half an hour. Now I am ever so sleepy, nap time! When I wake up I’m going to steam some vegetables for my dinner and get started on exam revision. Mmmmmmm I feel brilliant.
My pre-studies english exam today was so good, not all too sure how I went though. One of the questions in which we were given to choose from was to elaborate on “Poetry is not always beautiful” and I have been studying Bukowski for the past couple weeks which made it extremely easy for me to write for the whole duration of the time given. Now I am lounging about the house deciding what to have for lunch and indulging in leisurely past times before I decide to begin study for tomorrow’s exam. Ack, this time tomorrow I will be free!