i moved cities again to attend a v mediocre arts education 100kms away from where i currently write this / very tired a lot wasting money homeless jobless no desire to do anything but completely experience this loss and emptiness / now how do i show you this beauty? how do i explain the beautiful emptiness of wandering around a city that is now your own but you know no one / how can i show you all this everythingness and nothingness simultaneously? i realise that i am finally in this position in my life where if i don’t produce anything everything is futile and this emptiness is in vain

this morning i woke up hungover at 9am and had to console a sleep deprived lover
this afternoon i woke up hungover at 1pm in his house alone
my broken phone vibrating with a call from my father
i ignored it and laid back down, he left a voicemail
i got up and wandered about his empty home
as i shut the door, my phone rang again but i missed it, another voicemail
i called back but no answer and the voicemails were silence
i rode home thinking about how i remember my primary school looking
has all come from nightmares i had after leaving it
i got home and my road was closed
i rode down the footpath and there were two men milling over a gigantic pile of rubbish
now i am home and my bin is the only one on the street that wasn’t picked up?

today i took modafinil for the first time and i made three sketches of songs and had pretty serious diahorrea ~life~

Anonymous inquired no you cannot purely exist and call it art, but you can create by purely existing. the subconscious mind is creation in its rawest form, it's where art comes from, its how we see art and notice the beauty of it. you can create art within yourself.

i think you are stating the obvious at this point

Anonymous inquired not all art has to be honest and not all words have to beautiful, you create by just being alive, everything you do is creation.

true some of the most beautiful art is abhorrently so, but art is art due to intention, you cannot purely exist and call it art

CAN TRUE SENTIMENTALITY EXIST ON A PLATFORM LIKE TUMBLR

I want to make honest art but I am ashamed of who I am. I do not like my sentimentality, it clouds my perception. Sentimentality is a romanticised concept. I do not want to be a cliche.

OKAY so I just took a shower and listened to Drake and took pics of my butt and I have realised for the first time in my life I have a cute butt so I feel better hahaha

There are gross tradies in my backyard and on my roof and I’ve had to cover all my windows with sheets and it’s making me feel anxious and I don’t even know why they’re here and I wasn’t notified and I don’t like this at all.

i hope the words that come out of me will be beautiful again
searching for comfort in the crevass of your arms
the sight of your face but sometimes i have to stop listening
like the invisible line between our hearts and minds lose tension
walked for four hours straight again then drank alone
cried because i didn’t create anything
sex will suffice because i can turn you into art
i want to surround you with flowers
sometimes the rising sun moves me and i wake
just to hover over your resting naked body for a minute
there is nothing more i need than you
but still i crave everything


brandnewswastikas:

Put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe. 

Did this to a friend once and she got really angry… I even spelled out her name in the pancakes too!

(Source: heckacute, via thesunisfalling)